Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
