She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
