Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
