sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
