but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
