Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
