Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
