I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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