matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
