Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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