awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
