I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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