the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
only if we run a train.
done.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
you never un-have a 4some
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
