we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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