I'm pants shitting drunk right now
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
