Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
