i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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