I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
