I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
