I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Found the puke drawer
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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