I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
