someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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