But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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