I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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