I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
