glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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