...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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