The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
