SEEEEXXX PLEASE
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
