you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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