do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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