i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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