god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize