Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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