Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
