yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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