I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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