Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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