It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
