We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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