so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
