3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Randomize
