What did we do last night that was yellow?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
