found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I looked at my own cervix.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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