It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
