It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
