What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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