is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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