Whod you bang
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
