Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I supernannyed him into submission
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
