he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
