do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
