but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
